Mind Chatter

email us your innermost thoughts and inner monologues and we'll publish them, we will not edit them:

The Music Shop of Depression

So you walk into Music Maker just off wicklow street in town, you see the lovely guitars and amps displayed in the windows.  The ads for

bands and posters overlap each other at the side of the steps as you walk in.  Suddenly you are immersed in a whole world of stereo types,

it depresses the shit out of you.  There is usually a group of kids, usually wearing Nirvana t-shirts-you know the ones "I hate myself and want to die".

Some of them are Goths with extreme make-up on their faces and eyeliner-the whole works, they are only 17 and 18.  They are playing Polly on the bass.

Then there is a stupid wanker wearing a cap, playing  guitar in the corner.  He's showing off how good he is on it, he's playing Metallica and Cannibal Corpse

and a bit of Slayer. The guitar is heavily distorted and he's going a hundred miles per hour with his hammer ons and guitar licks.  Gee well done you're

fuckin' brilliant on the guitar, wow so fuckin' what!  Your manhood is so unique.  "Hey everybody he's so cool cause he's brilliant on the guitar-Wow!"

There are posters of Van Halen, David Lee Roth and the guitarist from Bon Jovi on the wall.  Even the people who work there are

 in bands and they are all really good musicians but are always a bit smart when you ask them simple question about guitar pedals

and things like that.  By now the noise is getting worse and worse, the sounds of the guitars and the basses and the drums. Even the staff are having

difficulty on the phone as they can't hear wit the noise.  You look around and see all the stereo types-the Oasis heads, the Rockers, the

Punks, the Slackers and the Grunge Kids and you say to yourself if I had a gun I'd blow my brains out as my headache is getting worse by the minute.

By now you have become depressed that you just don't want to ever be in a band or play music ever again.  Just when you think things

couldn't get any worse-a minor celebrity walks in.  It's Binser, the old drummer from the Frames.  That Glen Hansard is so pretentious.

You have only been in the shop for 10 minutes and already you feel lousy.  You leave the shop very depressed and suicidal but after a few

minutes your mood lifts and you're back to your normal self and you thank God that you're out of that hell hole.

by James M

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BT

One of the house phones keeps knocking me off me surf board. And its a bt phone. Happy friday I say.  Here's the card number 44444.

By Blind King

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Farmers Market

I manage farmer's markets. Part of this job involves setting up a table with a variety of printed material
such as market information, recipes etc. To stop these pages blowing away in the wind, I weigh them down with
fruit and vegetables e.g. apples, squash, potatoes etc. It looks nice.

Every day, one person will invariabley come up and ask to buy an apple or a squash or something. Even though
it is just one solitary table and there are only 5 or 6 different apples or whatever on that table. I am
always so baffled by this that I can barely bring myslef to point out that it's only an information
table and not a fruit stand. More often than not it's a guy in a nice suit with a cell phone, obviously
coming from working a good paying job, not just you're average Manhattan junkie psycho.

Today, I was sitting by the table and a woman came up and asked to get her a cup so she could get a drink of
water. She asked this becaue there was a bottle of water sitting on the information table; my bottle of
water. I think when you have a good well run market, even though you're out doors on the street, people
just go into "retail mode" and many people dart around in a frenzy of compulsive compulsion. I'm glad they
do, otherwise the farmers wouldn't sell anything, but this frenzy definately seems to alter their capabilites for reasoning.

good night.

Abiocor.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Some reasons why I think the Frames DC are worthless:

1-Glen Hansard was once refered to as "A boggled-eyed guitarist".

2-They have a fiddlest and each song has a fiddle solo.

3-Hansard looks like Avid Merrion (from Bo Selectah).

4-The current bass player (as of July 2005) was in a worse band than the Frames called "My Litle Funhouse".

5-Hansard once said in a TV interview that he had just bought an old typewriter to type his lyrics. However, the letter 'M' was broken and would not print.  He saw that this was not a problem - indeed he seemed to revel in the fact that this was so.  He said he saw that this was an "honest"  way of writing songs.  Pretentious or what!

6-They ditched their female singer after the first album.

7-They went through at least 4 bass players before the current (see point 4) bass player.

8-Hansard played an accoustic session with Frank Black on Today FM's Tom Dunne show and often tried to outsing the legend in his (Frank's) own style.

9-They insisted on inserting an extremely annoying and pretentious "tribute" to the late great Johnny Cash on the Eamonn Dunphy Show (cancelled since May 2004).  During a plug for their latest single at the time, Hansard started singing verses from "Ring of Fire" and at the end said, in his beautiful Dublin accent, "sleep well Johnny".

10-At most festivals they play they ask their peers to climb aboard the stage for their two hour encores - Paddy Casey and Mundy to name but a few - watch out Kitser or you'll be next to get involved in boring to death the Frames' most hardcore fans.

11-In the live version of "Start Star" Hansard leaks into a song from "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" - and says  "The snozeberrys taste like snozeberrys..." again showing that this band are full of but nothing more than old, predictable, pretentious ideas.

12-Hansard was in The Commitments.

13-They have a song called "Pavement Tune", named after a song that they thought sounded like, you've guessed it, a tune by Pavement!  Fucking unbelievable.  Even worse, Hansard had publicly stated around this time that he had just listened to "Slanted and Enchanted" for the first time!

14-Album titles are so bad, see for yourselves; Burn the Maps / Fitzcaraldo / Dance the Devil / For the Birds...

15-Hansard's character in The Commitments is called "Outspan".

16-See picture below:

Q.E.D.

By J.Thorne- Arklow, Ireland.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

........I agree, the Frames are utter
wankers ! and they have worthy successors in the thrills, wait till they
start their pretentious crap after the money runs out, shit that's never
gonna happen is it ?? c*nts were loaded anyway !

By Cory O'Neill

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

oh the hard man of forums.

i have encountered many hard men on forums. the guts it takes to insult
someone from a keyboard is truely amazing. money. where. mouth. is.

touche mr forum.

by the bk

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------